I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
