We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
