No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
