Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I wanna bring you to show and tell
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
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