You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Randomize
