I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
