Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
