my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Randomize
