Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize