My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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