If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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