Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
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