I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
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