Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
