finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
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