I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
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