I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
