Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
