You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Randomize
