i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize
