you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
