I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
