There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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