she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
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