I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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