I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
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