I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Randomize
