I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Randomize
