guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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