Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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