Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
