Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
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Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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