How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Randomize
