All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
