he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize
