both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
