My liver just broke up with me...
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
