we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
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im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
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I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.