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look no pants
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
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