Texts From Last Night

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  (302): View more from Delaware

  Nicole vs. Life

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  (302): Nicole vs. Life http://tfl.nu/qzfl
  Replies (16) Good night (637) Bad night (939)
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  (989): View more from Michigan

  if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK

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  (989): if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK http://tfl.nu/niip
  Replies (2) Good night (701) Bad night (786)
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  (661): View more from California

  Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,

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  (661): Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi, http://tfl.nu/04ch
  Replies (35) Good night (1439) Bad night (2140)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back

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  (503): well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back http://tfl.nu/ecfc
  Replies (5) Good night (3086) Bad night (1476)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.

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  (419): had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me. http://tfl.nu/ffp2
  Replies (4) Good night (966) Bad night (2369)
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  (212): View more from New York

  He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.

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  (212): He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend. http://tfl.nu/rr39
  Replies (9) Good night (1035) Bad night (2080)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music

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  (+44): could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music http://tfl.nu/hszo
  Replies (7) Good night (2397) Bad night (851)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there

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  (570): I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there http://tfl.nu/1aoc
  Replies (5) Good night (2107) Bad night (612)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.

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  (770): Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation. http://tfl.nu/ma0q
  Replies (10) Good night (1382) Bad night (606)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  you said candy land and then passed out.

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.

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  (215): you said candy land and then passed out. (215): ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks. http://tfl.nu/gx08
  Replies (8) Good night (2941) Bad night (504)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin

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  (608): Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin http://tfl.nu/qc7j
  Replies (5) Good night (950) Bad night (481)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.

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  (416): I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison. http://tfl.nu/ptp6
  Replies (1) Good night (1166) Bad night (349)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart

  (763): View more from Minnesota

  Die.

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  (203): Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart (763): Die. http://tfl.nu/kmyn
  Replies (11) Good night (779) Bad night (1077)
• Favorite

  (803): View more from South Carolina

  How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?

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  (803): How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist? http://tfl.nu/6lhn
  Replies (5) Good night (561) Bad night (268)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.

  (1-631): View more from New York

  That's 30 minutes too many.

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  (631): Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there. (1-631): That's 30 minutes too many. http://tfl.nu/4o2n
  Replies (2) Good night (686) Bad night (398)

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