Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (620): View more from Kansas

  my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"

  (785): View more from Kansas

  you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?

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  (620): my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!" (785): you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me? http://tfl.nu/e8og
  Replies (37) Good night (969) Bad night (3778)
• Favorite

  (928): View more from Arizona

  i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now

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  (928): i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now http://tfl.nu/zt2g
  Replies (19) Good night (637) Bad night (5580)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.

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  (519): this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn. http://tfl.nu/4r7g
  Replies (11) Good night (736) Bad night (6664)
• Favorite

  (514): View more from Quebec

  The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.

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  (514): The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you. http://tfl.nu/k985
  Replies (44) Good night (7756) Bad night (1153)
• Favorite

  (319): View more from Iowa

  We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"

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  (319): We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30" http://tfl.nu/oadk
  Replies (9) Good night (5950) Bad night (1042)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.

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  (703): He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle. http://tfl.nu/3luk
  Replies (25) Good night (6326) Bad night (1977)
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?

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  (401): Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried? http://tfl.nu/xci2
  Replies (14) Good night (3944) Bad night (1534)
• Favorite

  (862): View more from New Jersey

  You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night

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  (862): You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night http://tfl.nu/zmqw
  Replies (3) Good night (1799) Bad night (593)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart

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  (310): Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart http://tfl.nu/wp92
  Replies (8) Good night (1156) Bad night (554)
• Favorite

  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.

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  (414): I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid. http://tfl.nu/33wc
  Replies (3) Good night (455) Bad night (1057)
• Favorite

  (319): View more from Iowa

  God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real

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  (319): God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real http://tfl.nu/8qp8
  Replies (2) Good night (1569) Bad night (409)
• Favorite

  (252): View more from North Carolina

  I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises

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  (252): I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises http://tfl.nu/kph5
  Replies (0) Good night (555) Bad night (642)
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.

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  (415): It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way. http://tfl.nu/dgdv
  Replies (2) Good night (646) Bad night (267)
• Favorite

  (801): View more from Utah

  What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?

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  (801): What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE? http://tfl.nu/0e68
  Replies (2) Good night (647) Bad night (248)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting

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  (443): Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting http://tfl.nu/a81f
  Replies (2) Good night (440) Bad night (208)

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