Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.