Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."