Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
They have beer where we have blood.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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