Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
We're too hungover to prance.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize
