Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Randomize
