I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
