She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
