I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
