i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
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