lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
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