you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
