you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
