There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
