Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
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I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
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Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
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