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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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