Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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