Only a mothe r could love this liver
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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