What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
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