I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
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