sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
