It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
