I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
