I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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