It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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