I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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